I can't believe how happy I am.
You make me feel special.
That's 'cause you are special, princess.
Me and Ben are gonna be forever. I know it. We're gonna have a baby.
Yeah, but that don't mean you're gonna live happily ever after.
Do you believe in fate, Malcolm?
Fenner.
Don't you want to open your present, Jim?
What are you playing at, you bastard?
Listen, just because some bloke tells you he's gonna be waiting for you doesn't mean he will be.
CCTV camera caught you walking away from where you dumped my car
after you'd mowed down that innocent man and killed him.
Look at the date. I was at home with Di, wasn't I, Di? Go on. Tell her.
Of course he was. He was at home with me.
See, well, that's the thing with voodoo.
It's all in the mind. Once someone thinks there's a curse on them, they're cursed.
Di, I think you must have forgotten. You were with me all night at my flat.
Sylvia, what are you doing?
They're lies. It's all lies! Why are you trying to help them, huh?
I'm not, Jimmy. It's the truth.
The police are on their way, Jim.
- (ECHOING) You know you want me. - I don't want to do this, Jim.
- Let go of me! I don't want this. - You do.
I don't, Jim. Please stop.
Let me out!
I'm innocent!
On your feet, Fenner. There's no lying in here. You should know that.
You get a move on, you might make breakfast before someone gobs in it.
I don't want any.
You can hit the showers, then.
This place smells like a bloody ape house.
I'll wash in here.
Showers.
Look, just give us a break, will you?
What?
You think I should treat you differently because you used to be a screw, huh?
Move it.
Di!
Oh, Di, please wait.
I have got nothing to say to you.
I just wanted to know how Jim is.
As if you give a monkey's.
It wasn't my fault the police arrested Jim. That was Betts and Grayling's doing.
But you hardly stood up for him, did you, Sylvia?
Now he's a prison officer locked in a nick full of cons. How do you think he feels?
Do you think you could get me a visiting order, Di? I'd like to explain.
No!
The last person Jim wants to see is you, you stupid cow.
And you'd better stay away from me as well, if you've got any sense.
A stretch on that side of the bars might be worth it for what I'd like to do to you.
Some people don't let the grass grow, do they?
What?
They're welcome to her. It's one less pain in the arse.
GUARD: Hey! Cut it! INMATE: Come on, then.
Break it up! Break it up!
Get a move on, Fenner.
Hey, you.
What do you want?
How does it feel on our side of the bars?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't sass me.
We all know what you are, screw.
No, mate, you've got me mixed up.
The only thing gonna get mixed up is your face.
Come along, Fenner.
(LAUGHTER)
Good morning, everyone.
- Is it? - Morning.
Now, as you're all aware, since Frances moved on, you're currently without a wing governor.
That and the loss of your principal officer could, on the face of it, present us with problems.
But I've chosen to take the view that it's an opportunity.
- An opportunity for chaos, if you ask me. - No chaos, Sylvia,
because I'm going to take direct day-to-day responsibility for G-Wing.
Oh, great.
And together,
we are gonna steer G-Wing into the wind as a flagship for change in the prison system.
Sounds good, but how?
Well, in the past some people have run this wing in their own best interests,
not those of the women.
The mission statement of the Prison Service is not about ensuring an easy life for its officers.
It's about helping prisoners to return to society and lead useful lives.
And I believe that we have an opportunity to do that with a more hands-on approach,
one that sees the women of G-Wing as people and not cons.
Touchy-feely prison-warding. Cons will be running the place within a week.
No one's handing over the keys, Sylvie. He's just talking about mutual respect.
- That's right, isn't it? - Absolutely.
Yeah, respect engenders respect. I want you to bear that in mind from now on.
Thank you.
Well, it's about time we moved out of the Dark Ages.
Well, make sure you're not blinded by the light.
Col...
I'd just like to thank you for your support in this.
It's not gonna be easy to change the way that things are done round here.
It's gonna take the right sort of principal officer.
How would you feel if I put your name up for the job?
What, step into Jim Fenner's shoes?
Well, they'll be a better fit on you than they ever were on him.
I'd make sure you disinfected them first, of course.
Think about it, yeah?
What's going on?
What do you think, screw?
Look. Please. Please, there's no need for this.
I was always a friend to the cons.
Look, I know how this place works, yeah? We could work together.
We could run this place, yeah?
No. No, please don't. No.
Please, no. Please, please, please. Don't hurt me.
Oh, Jesus. No! Please, no, no!
(GROANING)
Time to get your punishment, screw!
Wow! Look at you, smiley. God, you look like shit.
You voodoo witch, you. Get away from me.
Darlene, have you been smoking too much of that ganja again?
Me nose say you put the curse on me.
Where did you get that?
What you talk about? You put it in me bed.
No, I wouldn't be that stupid. And if you ask me, someone got the wrong bed.
I mean, look at it. It doesn't look anything like you.
Looks more like that Costa tart there, Bev.
Mr Hedges, can I just have a private word?
Yeah, go ahead.
Only, it's a bit personal.
Well, you can talk to a female officer if you'd rather.
No, I'd rather talk to you, if that's okay.
It's just some of them aren't that big on sympathy, and it's my time of the month.
I've got it quite bad.
I see.
Can I have the morning off work? It's just I think I should be lying down.
Look, your average seaside donkey gets better than this.
I mean, I don't necessarily want eggs Benedict, but a nice piece of fresh grapefruit.
I mean, anything that tasted like real food
would just take your mind off this place for five minutes.
By your beds. Here's Gaylord.
- Morning, ladies! - Mr Grayling, that suit. Nice cut.
- Is it bespoke? - No. No, it's not.
Oh, but designer label, I'll bet.
I mean, there's no mistaking quality or the man who wears it.
- Thank you. - Not at all.
It's our pleasure. I only wish we saw more of you.
Well, you will from now on.
I'm taking over direct responsibility for G-Wing.
Oh, that is marvellous.
I mean, of course, we got on frightfully well with Ms Myers,
but, I mean, well, we just have more of a rapport with men.
Especially the good-looking ones.
I'm sure you do.
Well, you'll be able to speak to me whenever you need.
I'm gonna make the welfare of the women on G-Wing my top priority,
especially that of its senior citizens.
Bloody cheek.
Say hello to your new cellmate, Mini-Bev.
Oh, what on Earth!
It's not for me.
Someone put the voodoo on you, so shake in your boots, sister.
Doesn't look anything like me.
Oh, I don't know. There's a certain resemblance. Certainly captured the eyes.
Bev, you... you haven't finished your...
That'll be that nonce.
Oh, right. Well, then.
Batty.
I see the boys have welcomed you into the fold.
You let them do that to me, didn't you?
Do you want to make a complaint?
I want to go on Rule 43.
Given you a taste for noncing then, has it?
It's for my protection. I was a screw!
I was a screw. I'm at risk.
I've got the right.
Well, you'd better be a good boy, then, hadn't you?
Oh, look, there's Ben.
- Ben! - Oi, Ben!
- Ben. - Ben.
Hiya, how's it going?
Never mind about us. What about you and Tine? That's what we want to know.
Oh, great, yeah. She's moved in. We're having a great time.
And everything's all right with the baby, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, everything's cool.
Well, look, you should give us your address, then we can keep in touch.
Hang about, you can give us it now and your telephone number.
This is... This is really difficult. It's just...
Tina's got a new life now, and she doesn't really want to be tied to this place.
What, you're saying she don't want to see us no more?
It's nothing personal. It's just she wants to be looking forward now, that's all.
Yeah.
Look, I'd better get off.
Well, that's a turn out for the books.
Never thought Tine would turn her back on us.
I don't know. Baby on the way, nice fellow. Whole new life ahead of her, Ju.
Last thing she wants is to be reminded of this bleeding place.
Yeah, I suppose.
Oh, well, good luck to her.
Are you having another drink?
'Cause you can't sit here all day and just make a mess of the table.
Your tea tastes of piss.
Then piss off.
Dry skin, split ends, circles round my eyes a panda would grieve for.
I mean, no wonder you think I look like a sodding voodoo doll.
You don't have to be so melodramatic.
I'm not. I look like something that crawled out from under my own tombstone.
Come on. You don't look that bad.
You said I looked like that bloody doll!
And that was a joke.
Yes, well, you know what they say about jokes, don't you?
I mean, I know what I look like. I see it every time I look in the mirror.
Oh, Bev.
Oh, darling, I'm sorry. I hadn't realised...
What's going on here? Get to work, Oswyn!
She's upset. Can't you see?
Good.
If this place reduced you lot to tears more often, it would make the rest of us a lot happier.
- Come on. - Bitch.
Don't worry about that evil cow. She will get what's coming to her one day.
It's you I'm worried about.
Look, this is nothing we can't sort out.
You just... You just leave this with me.
Bev.
You know, if you're not feeling up to it, you can always do what I did and just pull a sickie.
But then I don't suppose you have a problem with the painters anymore, do you?
Anything you need, uh, seeing to?
Well, if it isn't the odd-job man.
I've changed my mind.
Who do you think I am? Bloody taxi service?
You wanted Rule 43.
This is where you're staying.
So, what brings you to our part of the world?
Nothing. Well, nothing like you lot.
I'm not a nonce.
That's an ugly word, Jim.
You and me both know we're no different
to any other bloke still out there walking the streets.
What?
That's my Carrie.
What a smile.
Look at those eyes and that hair,
and you tell me you don't want to get your hands on her.
You get away from me, you filthy bastard.
Yeah? Like you wouldn't?
See you later, yeah?
You bet you will.
Did I just see what I thought I seen?
The filthy slut!
She might be a slut, but she's a psycho slut.
Your bog overflowed or something?
Only, we seen Ben in there with his tools.
I had him in there with his tool all right.
Oh, keep your hands off him, you dirty cow. That's Tina's bloke. She's having his kid.
Really?
Well, maybe you should tell her to have an abortion.
Be easier all round. Do the poor kid a favour as well.
You horrible cow!
Tina's about to start a new life out there,
and you're going to ruin it for her before she's even had a chance.
Do I look like I give a toss about the thick little fatty?
No. And if was you I wouldn't go poking my nose where it doesn't belong.
Understand?
Got this in an eight?
I don't know. Let me just have a quick check out the back for you, love.
Hey, what do you think you're doing? Give us that here.
Here. It's a fair cop.
Are you gonna call the police? I promise I won't run off.
Just sod off, and don't come back.
What?
Ain't you gonna have me arrested? I'm a criminal.
Hop it! Now!
Finding it tough?
- What do you want? - Take it easy.
I know what's it's like for you guys coming in here, especially if you're not a nonce.
- Yeah, well, I'm not. - Okay.
Well, I'm here to say that if you wanna talk, I'll listen.
No, I'm through talking to you bastards.
Oh, I see, so what are you gonna do, then? Take your chances out on the wing?
Listen, I've been here five years. Take a tip.
If you want to last in here, you need mates.
Well, I'm choosy about my mates.
I was only trying to hold me hand out.
If you wanna stick a turd in it, fair enough. Tough it out for yourself.
Trouble is you don't look that tough to me.
Look, I'm... I'm sorry.
This is all new to me. I don't know who to trust.
Well, I'm Ron.
Jim Fenner.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, don't worry. There's lots of things worse than screws round here.
I don't care what you were. Oh, thank you very much.
So, what are you in for?
Rape.
Not a kid?
No. For God's sake, no. Not one of them.
Though it don't make any difference. There's no league table in here.
I'm no better than that dirty little prick Andy that you were talking to earlier.
I mean, I reckoned that she was up for it. She wanted it, you know?
And when she cried and struggled, I still told myself that that's how she liked it.
But I don't lie anymore.
That is what this place has done for me.
It's made me, you know, see myself, who I am.
Yeah, but I'm innocent.
Yeah, yeah. Well, whatever you say.
Andy can't see what's wrong with him getting his hands on an eight-year-old girl,
and I told myself for years that the woman I'd raped really was asking for it.
It's easier like that.
Now I have to just live with her inside my head,
screaming at me to stop.
Anyway, if you want to talk, I'm not going anywhere.
Did you know her?
The woman you raped.
Yeah, it was my brother's wife.
It's like I've always said, Ju. The only thing you can trust a bloke to do is mess around.
Yeah, but he seemed such a nice fellow.
Yeah, well, they're the worst.
What's he doing dressed up as a laundry man?
Come on.
Now, what is he up to, Ju?
Search me.
Hey! What the...
(FIRE ALARM BEEPING)
Gonna call the cops now, then, are you?
This better not be a wind-up, Julies.
- It ain't, sir. Honest. - No.
Human Resources?
Yeah, there's a man. Ben Phillips.
No, he's a maintenance worker.
Are you sure?
I see.
No. Thank you.
There's no Ben Phillips on the payroll.
What? There must be.
We're not making it up, Mr Grayling.
And if he ain't called Ben Phillips, then he's called something else.
But he is shagging his way round G-Wing
- like a dog with two dicks. - Dicks.
I take it you're not naming names, the recipients of his attention?
We ain't grassing on the girls, sir.
But that bloke, whoever he is, is up to something rotten.
Janine.
Janine, are you there?
Where the bloody hell do you think I am?
I'm not going anywhere for the next five years, thanks to you.
Janine, I'm scared.
Good.
'Cause see, as soon as I get out of here, Janine Nebeski is gonna mess you up big time.
I'm so sorry, Janine. It wasn't my fault. I had to say I was guilty.
I didn't think that meant that they'd lock you up, too.
For five years. Five bloody years!
And what does little Miss "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam" get?
Three.
I couldn't lie on the Bible.
You know, I'm glad you believe in it, Arun,
'cause, see, when I get the chance, I'm gonna pissing well crucify you!
What's going on? What are all those?
This is our style library.
I told you I'd sort things out, so I called in the experts.
They'll work wonders, I promise you. Well, at least that's what they've promised me.
Who's your favourite film star?
Robert Redford.
No, she means female. I've always thought that Sophia Loren was rather wonderful.
Yes, I always rather see myself more Cameron Diaz.
I'll keep looking through these mags, Ju.
Girl, you really let yourself go, ain't you? Could make a handbag out of your skin.
Yes, well, it's this place, isn't it? I mean, no sunlight, no nutrients in the food.
- No offence intended. - No.
Then there's the question of our fee.
JOHNSTON: Yeah, I mean, this ain't a five-minute job.
- We're talking an extreme makeover. - Extreme makeover.
I think you'll find that this will suffice.
But I'm warning you. We're expecting something wonderful.
Come on. Move it.
Oh, come on.
Oi, that's enough. You don't want to start out on report from the off.
Don't worry. I got plenty of time left. Five frigging years!
That's enough.
Hello, Mr Hedges.
Tina, come on.
Thanks.
If you think moving in with the baby snatchers is gonna save your skin, forget it.
Tell your lady to take a good look at you
because someday, I's gonna carve up your face good and proper.
Sit down.
- Oh, Jim. - Di.
God, it's good to see you.
I've missed you.
I've been lying awake at night wondering what you're up to.
Yeah, I haven't been having sweet dreams, I can tell you that.
We're gonna get you out of here. They've got no hard evidence.
Just a grainy photograph
and some misunderstanding about where you were that night.
They can't convict an innocent man.
Jesus, Di, I hope you're right.
Don't give up, Jim.
Yeah, well, at least Grayling's out on his queer boy's arse.
That's something, I suppose.
What is it, Di?
They've reinstated Neil.
They reckon your tribunal evidence was compromised by this.
Jesus Christ, I don't believe it!
I'm rotting in here with the scum of the earth and he's...
- Calm down, Jim. Calm... - Calm down?
Do you know why they put me in here?
I asked for segregation. They've put me in the VP unit with all the pervs.
It's sending me out of my head.
I'm beginning to think I might be one of them.
Stop it.
You've done nothing wrong.
I've always thought I could hold my own, and now...
Now everything's smashed to pieces around me.
Everything I know and trust, it's all... gone.
Except you.
You'll always have me, whatever happens.
We're married now, remember?
Some marriage.
- I'm sorry, Di, I know I've let you down. - No, you haven't.
Believe me, Di. I never wanted to put you through something like this. Honest.
It's not your fault.
You couldn't have known what Betts and Neil were cooking up. Nobody could.
You're gonna get out of here, and we are gonna get through this.
I don't deserve you.
We're in this together.
So, how's everything at home?
Fine.
Oh, someone sent a letter asking about renting a key for a lock-up.
- Lock-up? - Yeah, what would you want with a lock-up?
Jim?
Look, Di, before I tell you,
you gotta remember that Betts was accusing me of rape.
I was scared. I was innocent, but there was no way I could prove it,
so I had to find some way out.
I don't understand.
Well, I was gathering information on Karen.
It's all stored in that lock-up.
Why in a lock-up?
I didn't want to have anything to do with her in the house.
Just the thought of that bitch makes me wanna puke.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
I'll clean everything out. It's not a problem.
It's what else is in there.
What do you mean?
Well, I couldn't find anything on Karen that was gonna help me, so...
Oh, God forgive me, Di.
I took her car that night.
What are you saying?
That picture. It's me.
- I took Betts's car. - No.
No, it couldn't have been. There were eyewitnesses. They saw a woman.
I wore a wig. I wanted to frame her.
It was the only way I could get her off my back. But please believe me, Di.
I didn't mean for anyone to get killed. It all went wrong.
No, you're confused. It's the trauma of being in here.
It's your nerves.
Remember what happened after Atkins died? It's all in your head, Jim.
Please listen to me, Di.
I'm guilty.
You killed that man.
I'm so, so sorry, Di.
But please, you've got to help me.
- You've got to. - It's all lies.
Everything.
Oh, God.
Where's your visitor, Fenner?
She wasn't feeling well. Gone to the toilet.
Turn her stomach, too, do you?
Come on. You know the rules. If you don't have a visitor, sit on the bench.
- She'll be back in a minute. - Bench!
(MOUTHING)
Hello, darling.
Wow. Two visits in one day.
I reckon you need some special maintenance.
Right.
- Get off of me, you arsehole! - Quiet! Let's see some ID.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Hey!
Bastard! You tried to rape me!
- She's lying. I never touched her. - You won't even get time off for what you did.
Put him somewhere safe while I call the police.
- Look, she's lying. I didn't do anything! - Lock her in her cell.
- I never touched her! - I'll speak to you when you've calmed down.
I didn't do anything!
She's lying! God!
JOHNSTON: Moisturiser. Facial scrub. SAUNDERS: Uh-huh.
- Face mask. Leg-firming cream. - Yep. Check.
- Hand lotion mixer and protein preparation. - Check.
Good Lord, how long is all this gonna take?
It'll take as long as it takes. You wouldn't rush your heart surgeon, now, would you?
Yes, well, I don't care how long it takes as long as I don't look like this anymore.
Don't worry, darling. Next time you look in the mirror, it'll be like travelling back in time.
Say, Marbella, 1999, right?
Yes, well, I will be happy with any time before we ended up in this place.
You'll be fine, I promise. I'm just going to see you later.
- Julies, your best work, all right? - You leave it to us.
- Ju? Scissors. - Uh-huh.
Hiya, Mrs Hollamby.
Bet you didn't expect to see me again so soon, eh?
I'm surprised it's taken you as long, O'Kane.
Your sort always get vertigo on the straight and narrow.
Here. Only, don't say nothing to the others, eh?
I wanna surprise them.
Don't get your hopes up. You're just as likely to end up on D-Wing.
D-Wing? Well, can't I just go back to me old room with Darlene?
You'll go where you're put.
And you owe me 50p.
Come on, you lot. Let's get you lined up. Mug shots and strip search.
Strip search?
Oh, don't worry. You haven't got anything I haven't seen a thousand times before.
Come on! Get a move on!
Di, thank God.
- I wasn't sure... - You lied to me, Jim.
I always believed you, Jim, and you're a bloody liar.
I married a murderer.
I didn't want anyone to get killed.
I just wanted Betts to get done for dangerous driving and get sacked, that's all.
It was an accident.
I thought finally I was gonna have some kind of life.
- I thought you loved me. - I do love you.
That's why I did everything I could to keep you out of it.
How can I know that?
How can I know that anything you ever tell me, anything you have ever told me, is true?
I always stood up for you, Jim.
When you were ill, against Stewart, against Myers and Neil, and for what?
So that I could marry you only to find out that everything they said about you was true?
You're a filthy, rotten bastard!
Di, please don't leave me.
All right. Time, everyone.
Betts was poisoning everything.
The thought of her destroying our lives together was tearing me apart.
It was the thought of losing you that stopped me from telling you the truth.
I love you.
Come on, Fenner. You've had enough time for goodbyes.
Promise me there's nothing else, no more hidden skeletons.
I promise you I will never, never hurt you again.
- What about the lock-up? - Burn everything in it.
Come on. That's enough.
Can you do that for me?
There's my own black-magic Barbie.
Who's a pretty girl, then?
PHYL: Heaven's sake, just take that bloody towel away.
One, two, three.
- Ta-da! - Ta-da!
Oh, my Lord.
I don't believe it.
I mean, is that me? It can't be.
- Oh, it is wonderful. - It is.
Oh, darling!
Oh, baby.
Yes.
Oh, darling, and thank you 'cause this was all your idea.
Oh, I just wish we could go out on the town and show you off,
but I do have another idea that might be nearly as satisfying.
I don't know. Some of the people we get coming back in here.
I said we'd rue the day we allowed TV sets in the cells.
I bet Ruth Ellis would come back for another stretch now if she could.
Tull, that is you, is it?
Oh, um, do you like it?
No, I do not, and you can consider yourself on report.
Why? Because you don't like my new look?
Because any change of appearance has to be cleared by the number one.
And we'll have to do another mug shot.
What?
Oh, my.
- It's you, Mrs Hollamby. - I beg your pardon.
I mean, it does look like you, doesn't it?
Is this your idea of a joke, Tull? Are you trying to put the frighteners on me?
Oh, don't be ridiculous. Voodoo is hardly my style.
Though I know some people who still believe in such mumbo-jumbo.
- Yes, well, I'm not one of them. - Oh, good.
Although when I was living in the Caribbean, a friend of mine got one.
He thought it was just sort of superstitious rubbish.
The following week I was ordering his wreath.
Yes, well, this isn't Devil's Island, and I'm cursed enough with you lot.
Never mind voodoo dolls.
Right, this is where you sleep tonight. Tomorrow, you'll be allocated to a wing.
Here. I will be put on G-Wing, won't I, miss?
It's where all my mates are. You can see to it, can't you, miss?
It's not up to me.
Don't think kipping over there is gonna keep you safe.
Please, Janine, can't we just still be friends?
No. No, we can't.
'Cause you're the reason I'm in here. You and your bloody religion.
Hey, what's her religion got to do with anything?
Oh, she couldn't lie in court, could she?
Oh, no. No, not when she's sworn on the bleeding Bible.
- I just couldn't sin like that. - You couldn't sin?
It never sodding well stopped you when I offered you in on the scam, did it?
I mean, where was Saint Arun,
when you were supping champagne in Harvey Nicks, eh?
- What did you get done for? - Credit card fraud.
Yeah, and then she comes over all holier-than-thou and pleads guilty in court.
- How long did you get? - Three years, but Janine got five.
Bleeding hell. No wonder you're narked.
Another day over, thank the Lord.
What's up with you?
I don't know. Could be my damn gyppy neck's come back.
Oh, no. Can't be.
- What? - That.
Where did this come from?
It was me. Somebody put it in the biscuit tin.
Oh, well, it's in the right place, then.
Colin, this isn't funny.
You don't think there could be something in it, do you? In voodoo?
I mean, I haven't had trouble with my neck in years.
Do me a favour.
When my Bobby was alive, there was some trouble after one of his funerals, a desecration.
The vicar told Bobby, confidentially of course, that it was devil worshippers.
It's a doll. It can't hurt you.
But what about my neck? It just came out of nowhere.
That's not natural, is it?
It's nothing a nice bath and a good night's kip won't fix.
Of course. I must be getting puddled in me old age.
Come and get it.
Julies.
- Tine? - Tine?
You pleased to see me?
- What the hell you doing here? - I missed you.
You stupid cow, what you done?
Set light to some clothes in a shop.
You done what?
I was lonely out there.
Oh, God, you need your head examining.
What about the baby? Prison ain't no start of life for a kiddie.
I'm not pregnant.
If Bev thinks she's got a second son, then she needs another pair of bleeding specs.
Well, what about Ben?
Didn't show up, did he? Wanker.
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
ANDY: Oi, Jim.
Jim.
Here, quick.
Catch.
These will get you going.
Next time it'll cost you, mind.
My little girlfriend and me.
Jesus.
You sick bastards! Jesus!
No!
You're lucky I ain't cut your dick off for what you done to me.
You're a pimp, Fenner!
Good God!
Fenner!
Please.
Get me out of here.
God. God.
Oh, God, please get me out of here.
Where the hell were you this morning?
Mr Grayling, I swear I didn't want to have anything to do with him.
That bastard was forcing himself on me.
Is that so?
He'd better get everything that's coming to him.
Oh, come on, Buxton. You're not blameless in this.
What? He tried to rape me.
You saw him.
I can't say it looked as if you were fighting him off.
He said he'd hurt me if I didn't do what he wanted me to.
Everyone on the wing knows that you were having regular liaisons with the man.
- They don't know anything. - You're not fooling me.
And I can tell you, your friends out there aren't impressed by a woman crying rape
when they all know she was at it like an alley cat.
I don't give a shit what they think or what anyone thinks.
No, Buxton.
No, you think you're something special on this wing, don't you?
And you depend on every other woman here thinking the same. Well...
that's all going to change.
Shit!
Ben Phillips/Hennessey.
It's a lesson for all of us to be more vigilant where male workers are concerned on the wing.
Yeah, well, I think it's a disgrace. Prison authorities should be hauled over the coals.
Sex maniac like that.
It's not just the prisoners that were at risk.
And there's going to be a thorough review of procedure concerning civilian contractors.
Look, from now on, no matter how familiar we are with civilians working here, ask to see ID, okay?
Let's get on with it.
We're sweeping all the bad apples off G-Wing, Di.
Oh, speaking of which, how is Jim getting on?
How do you think?
Well, if you want my advice, Di, take advantage of the situation.
He got arrested on your wedding day. Get an annulment.
(DOOR SLAMMING)
WOMAN: Oh, look who's back, girls. It's O'Kane!
Hello, girls. Look who's come home.
What the hell you doing back in here, girl?
Oh, I'm an arsonist now.
Arsonist? What you set fire to? Your dinner?
Oh, no, no, clothes shop.
How many more years me have to spend with you?
With your snorting in the night.
(LAUGHING) Welcome home, girl.
Darling.
I hated it out there.
But now all I need to make me happy is to give that tosser Ben what's coming to him.
- Look's like you've been beaten to it, Tine. - What?
Yeah, got nabbed up in Natalie's cell yesterday. He weren't no maintenance worker.
Bleeding hell.
Right. O'Kane, Nebeski and Parmar, you're all in a four-bed dorm.
What?
Wait. What, all of us?
No, you can forget that. There is no way I'm sharing with her.
Listen up, Nebeski. In here, you don't get a choice.
And you won't find a bottle and a basket of fruit waiting for you, neither.
Get your beds made up. Move it!
(EXCLAIMING)
Who threw that?
Threw what, miss?
Mini-Bev strikes again.
This auto-suggestion's potent stuff. If only we could bottle it.
Yes, well, unfortunately it only works on the superstitious and stupid,
and for best effects, both.
Oh, there ain't nothing like your own bed, is there?
You're a frigging freak, you are.
I mean, you're actually glad to be here, ain't you?
Well, yeah, of course.
It's where me mates are.
Sad cow.
Shit!
How am I going to last five frigging years with that?
Oh, it's all right, you can buy stuff.
Yeah, I can imagine the sort of crap they sell and all.
You can borrow some of my things, Janine. I don't mind.
Janine don't borrow off of you.
After what you owe her, Janine's just going to take whatever she wants.
Got it?
- Does that hurt? - No.
- That? - Nothing.
Oh, well, get dressed.
Well, what do you think?
Well, I can't see anything wrong with you.
Certainly nothing that would explain the pains that you say you've been experiencing.
Well, that's it, then.
I have been cursed.
I knew it. Like Tull said, it's probably only a matter of time.
Oh, rubbish, Sylvia.
How can anybody nowadays believe such superstitious nonsense?
Unless they're born halfway up the Amazon or they're feeble-minded.
Well, it doesn't look like medical science has any explanation.
There are a number of possible explanations, physical, psychological,
but absolutely not supernatural.
In your case, Sylvia, I suggest you lose maybe two stone, then see how you feel.
I came to see you for advice, not insults, thank you very much.
I can see I'd get more sympathy talking to a doctor with a bone through his nose
than one the NHS churned out.
Here. Girls, this is Darlene. She's the other girl in the dorm with us.
What do they feed you on, Baby Bio?
Yeah, I know she look's a bit scary, but you're all right, really, ain't you?
She don't scare me.
Well, you must be brave for going round dressed like some kind of pussy cat.
Well, at least I can talk English.
Tina.
That bastard Ben wants his nuts cracking for what he did to you and me, mate, honestly.
Yeah, we saw how you've been fighting him off.
He tried to rape me.
- Course he did. - Yes, he did.
Yeah, and I know what I saw.
No, you don't know what you saw, not if you know what's healthy.
Get off me!
SAUNDERS: Leave her alone.
So, who are you two, then?
This is Arun and this is Janine.
Can't they talk for themselves?
Yeah. Janine Nebeski.
- Who are you? - Natalie.
Sounds like you've had some grief.
And I give out more that I get. Remember that, and you'll be all right.
You're a pretty thing, aren't you?
Be a good girl, and you'll stay that way.
Darlene!
- Be seeing you. - What do you want?
- I just want a quick chat, that's all. - About what?
I'm thinking of starting up a business. Could be some work in it for you.
I have work. Making shawls for stiffs.
Yeah, but that won't pay like this will.
You're the boss around here, aren't you?
You are a bright spark.
So what's going down? Anything I can do to help?
Yeah, actually, there is.
Piss off.
BEN: Ten years I'm looking at, thanks to that bitch.
You forgot the golden rule, mate.
When you got your trousers down, make sure your arse is covered, eh?
I should never have trusted her. They're all sodding crooks.
It was like a shitting box of chocolates in there.
Well, I've got to admire your balls, mate.
No one questions a bloke with a spanner in his hand, do they?
It was sweet until Buxton started screaming rape.
Women, they're all the same.
You reckon?
That bitch Betts, she was the worst.
- What, Karen Betts, the old wing governor? - Yeah.
Bloody hell, if prick-teasing was a sport she'd be carrying the flag.
You didn't have her as well, did you?
I was that close.
That close?
(BEN LAUGHING)
I'd make two, sometimes three deliveries a day. I'd just change, pick up my box of tools,
get a set of keys from the front gate, and I'd be in.
And they'd be waiting for me, legs akimbo.
Jesus, sounds like bloody heaven.
I'm telling you I was getting shagged dry in there.
Nearly even had the wing governor, didn't you, Ben?
Oh, she was giving me the come on, all right.
I should've just took my chance, I reckon.
Just wait until she was in her office one night...
You know what?
That's the sort of sick bastard they should lock away and forget about.
She had that proper filthy look, you know, in her eyes, yeah. They're all filthy in there.
Di, it's me.
Look, I could understand if you never wanted to speak to me again but...
I've got to see you. It's important. I've managed to get us a private visit.
I think I shall go straight for the jugular.
You enjoy that just a little bit too much for comfort, darling.
You know, I don't think I've enjoyed myself so much
since that American bought our entire Picasso collection.
What, the one you turned out on an Etch-a-Sketch?
Now, Mrs Hollamby.
Let's see how you do the moonwalk.
Oh, Mrs Hollamby, you seem to be limping.
All right, it's a private visit but any bump and grind and the party's over. You got that?
You're looking better.
Yeah, well, it's getting everything out in the open.
Feels like the two of us can start with a clean sheet.
I hope so.
I've got so much to thank you for, Di.
You're my rock, you know that?
- Neil's heading for trouble again. - Oh, yeah?
You know that maintenance guy, Ben? Turns out he's an impostor.
I know.
They banged him up in here, on the VP unit with me.
He's like a pig in shit, Di.
I'd heard he was a serial sex offender.
Natalie Buxton said he tried to attack her, but I'm not so sure.
He told me he raped her.
Bragged about it.
I wanted to punch his lights out.
The bastard should be banged up in here till he rots.
Maybe he will.
What if we can make sure of it?
(REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
So, made up your mind? Are you in?
- Me don't know. - What don't you know?
It's simple. It's tax collection.
The women cough up in canteen goodies, shampoo, conditioner, fags,
whatever you can get out of them, and then you get a cut.
If me lean on them.
It's called incentivising.
You're a strong girl. It'll be a piece of piss.
Look at it like this.
You're either the tax collector, or you're one of the mugs paying tax.
You don't understand what's going on here, do you?
It's like all change, Darlene. Now Myers is off my back, I run this place.
I'm governor of G-Wing.
(REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
He told me that Karen had the hots for him, but he never got to shag her.
Prick-tease, he called her. So he's got plenty of motive for setting her up.
I see that.
But how do we set him up?
Simple.
Take this.
What is it? It's Ben's stuff. It's gotta be crawling with his DNA.
Now, all you gotta do is buy another long blonde wig and transfer his traces onto it.
And make sure the police get hold of it.
It could easily be him on that CCTV film.
With his record, he doesn't stand a chance.
You're trying to frame him just like you did with Betts.
The man's a monster, Di.
You should hear him talk. He's done plenty worse than a hit and run.
When I think about it,
a man like that anywhere near you... I mean, it didn't have to be Buxton he raped.
I thought you wanted to put all this behind you.
I do, Di, but we've got nothing until I'm out of here.
Do this for me and we can be together like we're supposed to be.
How do I get it to the police without implicating myself?
Right.
You buy one of them pay-as-you-go phones, only pay cash for it,
otherwise they can trace it.
Look, we don't know what's gonna happen in court,
but we do know there's no rhyme nor reason the way bloody juries think.
I mean, I could be banged up in here for another 10 years when I should be with you,
taking you on our honeymoon.
I've been dreaming about us going away.
Somewhere really special. You deserve it.
Hey,
when we're there, we can make a start on that family of our own.
- Jim, do you mean it? - Of course I do. I love you.
But I can't wait 10 years for it. I'm sorry, Di, but I can't.
I've told you what it's like in here.
If there's no other way out,
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Jim, you mustn't talk like that.
I mean it, Di.
I'd rather be dead than locked up any longer.
No, Jim.
So will you do it?
- Good morning, Bert. - Morning, Sylv.
- All right, Tina, back on bacon and eggs. - Brilliant.
Here. I'll see you right for a nice big brekkie. Don't you worry.
Get up now, man, or you're gonna miss your food.
I'm not hungry.
You're just scared of running into that Natalie again.
She's a nutter. I can see it in her eyes.
Well, she's soft in the head if she thinks Janine Nebeski's gonna be scared of her.
You can call yourself top dog. Toy poodle, more like.
Say all you want. Later, they're gonna take tax from you for Natalie same way.
- What? - Tax?
- What do you mean? - Like she say.
Natalie here top dog.
So, so much of everything you have belongs to she.
I haven't got anything.
What are you talking about? You have nice clothes, fancy cream.
Bollocks to that.
She owes me big time.
So if anyone's going to get her stuff, it's gonna be me.
So, how's it going? Everybody ready to pay up to the taxman?
Everyone but that girl there.
Who, Little Bo Peep? I didn't take her as much of a fighter.
No, that one there, Janine.
She say Arun owe her big time, and no one getting her hand on her stuff but her.
Right.
Nice skirt, was that expensive?
Yeah.
Good.
- You've ruined it. - Oops.
Now, Darlene tells me that I've got a problem with you.
No, no problem.
Don't know what she's going on about.
Well, she explained the rules.
You give me what's mine, and mine is whatever I sodding well say it is, all right?
Course it is, Natalie.
Whatever you want, fine by me.
It's how things are done, innit?
And like I said before, if you want any help, anything at all, I'm here for you.
Right, then, well, you throw a sickie to get off work
and come and see me in my cell after breakfast, yeah?
Yes.
(SIRENS WAILING)
Hi, Nat. I'm here like you said.
So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?
Do you know why I'm top dog in here, Janine?
'Cause you're hard?
No, I mean, why there is a top dog.
Because.
Because every society has a structure.
Even us in here. Even a pack of dogs.
Every now and then, a new dog joins the pack and reckons it should be running things.
But sometimes that dog just hasn't got what it takes, hasn't got a hope in hell, really.
That doesn't matter.
'Cause the top dog still has to sort it out.
Look, Natalie, if you're talking about me, you can forget it.
I don't want to take you on.
Good.
Janine?
Do you know anything about voodoo?
(JANINE SCREAMING)
My eye!
Ouch.
What do you prefer, Jim? Blondes or brunettes?
Couldn't give a toss, mate.
As long as they've got it all where they're supposed to.
I love blondes.
Hennessey!
On your feet.
What's going on?
Ben Hennessey, we've recently acquired strong evidence
linking you to a death by dangerous driving.
- And you'll be coming with us for questioning. - You what?
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence
if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.
Anything you do say may be given in evidence.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about! I don't know what you're talking about.
It's your lucky day, Fenner.
Your brief is waiting for you with a discharge order. You're free to go.
- What flipping tax? - Protection.
Protection, from what?
From me.
I just want an end to it. If you know how to... well, how to lift a curse...
I know what you're supposed to do, but I don't think you're going to like it.
Holy shit!
SAUNDERS: In a suit?
Is it me, or have things just got a million times worse?